I Want You To Live
by DetachedFromRealityx
Summary: Songfic with George Canyon's I want you to Live. Basically Mac's journey from Claire dying to moving on. Mac/Claire and SMacked. Please read, reviews greatly appreciated. ONESHOT


**Disclaimer:**** I own nothing you recognise.**

**September 11****th**** 2001**

_When he got the news,The phone hit the floorHe fell to his knees,And cried her name_

He woke to the sound of the phone ringing, hoping he wasn't being called in he picked up the phone…

"Mac?"

"Yeah, Stell, where's the scene?"

"No no Mac it's not that. Em… is Claire with you?"

"No she's at work. What's wrong Stella?"

"Oh God!" She cried. "Mac, have you seen the news today?"

"Stella what's going on? What's happened?"

"I don't know how to say this… there was an attack…. Hijackings… the Trade Centres." Stella sobbed.

Mac dropped the phone; he felt the life he knew crumble around him. He fell to his knees and cried her name. He couldn't think straight all he wanted was Claire to come back, to walk through the door and tell him everything was going to be ok. She had just kissed his lips and left while he had went back to bed. He heard a knock at the door Mac flew up and opened the door, "Claire?" Stella stood on the other side crying as well.

_She had just kissed his lips,_

_Their lives will never be the same_

"No I'm sorry Mac. I'm so so sorry." She put her arms round him and walked him over to his sofa. He cried into her shoulder, they cried together, for Claire.

_The end of his hardest day_

_The only words he could say were,_

_I want you to live,_

_I want you to love,_

_I want to go back to the way it was,_

_To hear you say my name again,_

_I want to see you smile again_

_I want you to live._

**3 Years Later… **

Mac opened the door to his apartment; he had been working 3 days straight and only went home because Stella threatened to drag him out the building by his tie if he didn't. He wandered aimlessly around his apartment, knowing he would be unable to sleep. He hated being at home, it hadn't changed in 3 years, all Claire's things were still in place, nothing had been moved. He realised he had to move on, Claire wouldn't of wanted him to be like this, a shell of the man he used to be.

_It takes all of his strength_

_To go through her things_

_It feels like he's holding her again_

_The letters she wrote, books that she'd read_

_And some of her shirts still had her scent_

_The picture in Florida_

_He holds to his heart and cries out loud_

He went into the kitchen got some black bags and started going through her things. He found letters she'd wrote him when he'd been in Beirut, some of her books, the Velveteen Rabbit, Alice in Wonderland. It all went in the black bags. Next was the closet, one by one he removed her clothes, he held them to his chest, some of them still smelled like Claire, that's when the first tears started to fall. All of it went in the black bags. Pictures of them on their honeymoon, at the lab's Christmas parties over the years and in Times Square one New Years.

Nearly all the apartment was rid of Claire's stuff, the bags lined up at the door ready to be taken to the garbage. Mac walked through the apartment, he had one last look in the closet, hidden at the bottom he found a beach ball, he smiled at the memory of them in Florida on the beach. He remembered that it was Claire who blew it up; he picked it up, but couldn't bear to throw it away. It still had her breath in it; it reminded him of the good times. He'd never forget her and would always love but he had to move on, maybe not today or tomorrow but eventually. He could do it, for Claire.

_I want you to live,_

_I want you to love,_

_I want to go back to the way it was,_

_To hear you say my name again,_

_I want to see your smile again,_

_Lying awake in the middle of the night._

He lay awake that night and cried remembering the good times and the bad. One New Year's when Claire, Stella and himself went to Time's Square to see the ball dropping and afterwards the two women had been so drunk Stella had given Claire a piggyback all the way to Mac's apartment. He then remembered the time when he had been refusing to go home from work due to a big case and had missed their Anniversary Dinner. Claire had been so mad at him she had made him go and stay at Stella's that night. He then laughed when he remembered Stella opening the door, she just showed him to the couch and grabbed her duffel from the floor and then left. Apparently she had went to stay at his because when he finally dragged his sorry ass him 2 days later her and Claire were sitting on the couch watching girly movies and having a moan about men, mainly him. It became a ritual, whenever they had a fight (which wasn't that often) Mac would turn up at Stella's who would then go to his, where he would turn up two days later with a peace offering, mainly a box of Claire's favourite chocolates and a large bunch of flowers.

**4 Years Later… (Present Day)**

Mac entered his office to find Stella sitting in his chair with her feet up on his desk clearly waiting for him.

"Remind me again why you are allowed to do that." Mac said suspiciously.

"Because I am just an amazing person and you wouldn't dare tell me to get off your chair because that would mean denying I'm amazing but due to my superior amazingness that would be untrue therefore I'm allowed to sit in your chair." Stella stated smugly.

Mac shook his head roughly and stared at the woman in front of him. Over the past few years his feelings for Stella had grown. Following her to Greece had been the icing on the cake, he tried to rationalise it, she was an employee and more so his best friend. However, that wasn't it. He had to admit to himself he was in love with Stella Bonasera.

"Mac? Mac? MAC?" Stella shouted. "Are you okay? You zoned out for a bit there."

"Yeah I'm fine Stell, just thinking." Mac replied tiredly.

"What about?" Stella asked, curious.

"Doesn't matter, nothing important. Now, do you have a date tonight with Brandon or can I take you to dinner?" He deflected.

"Um… Brandon and I broke up… He could understand having to leave in the middle of a date if I was on call but not that we regularly work days at a time to try and close a case. Also, I kind of like someone else…" Stella trailed off.

"Oh?" Mac said, his curiosity piqued.

Stella jumped up off his chair and bounded over to him.

"So where we going then, Detective?" Stella whispered sultrily in his ear.

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Dinner was great and he even walked Stella home afterwards. He lay awake that night wondering if he was doing the right thing. He had already sort of moved on with Rose and then Peyton but he had never really loved Peyton like he loves Stella. She was the first and, very possibly, only person who could ever completely fulfil him like Claire did. She was the only person who truly understood him and would never try to change him. He made a decision tomorrow he was going to do something long over due, ask Stella Bonasera out on a date. Happy with his decision he rolled over a tried to fall asleep. One thing that was plaguing him was he felt like he was somehow tainting Claire's memory, he knew he was being absurd but he still felt as though he was. His last thought as he succumbed to sleep was he wished he could somehow find out how Claire was, or some other form of closure.

_He prays for an answer, some little of sign_

_And closes his eyes_

_And swears he hears her say,_

_I want you to live,_

_I want you to love_

_I want you to go on and not give up_

_I want you to live,_

_I want you to try,_

_I want you to know that I'm alright_

_I want you to fall in love again_

_I want to see you smile again_

_And again,_

_I want you to live._

The next morning Mac entered his office to once again find Stella sitting on his chair.

"You know you have an office right? Just down the hall? You share it with Lindsay Messer, 5"3, just had a baby girl, married to Danny Messer? Ring any bells?" Mac mocked.

"Fine," She huffed, "I was going to see if you were free for coffee but if you're going to be like that…"

Mac rolled his eyes in response, "C'mon we'll go see Linds and my god-daughter then we'll go get coffee."

Stella stood and linked his arm through his, she looked at him thoughtfully. "You know, being a God-Father suits you, you're started to act like the old Mac."

"What's wrong with the "New Mac"?"

"Nothing, it's just you were being sarcastic and joking, you've even been laughing more recently, I've missed that." Stella said sadly.

"Hey, look at me," He turned to face her and put his hands on her hips. "I think I am truly ready to move on, it's a long time over due and I don't know what's round the corner but events recently have made me realise if something happened to either one of us and I never said anything I would never be able to forgive myself."

He tilted her chin, emerald met sapphire for the briefest moment before their eyes closed, and Mac placed a kiss on her lips. It took her half a second before she reacted and pressed her lips to his even firmer neither caring about their surroundings.

They broke apart but Mac kept a hold of her, "I love you Stell." He said finally.

Stella looked up at him, her emerald eyes shining with unshed tears, "I love you too, Mac."

**AN- OK, I love this song and I thought it fitted Mac and Stella's relationship quite well. It's my first time ever doing a songfic so I would really like your feedback, even if it's just a one word review lol Please review they are much appreciated and all signed reviews are replied to.**


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